Sweet Lyrics for little Naleigh Moon....

This video & lyrics were just too sweet not to share. Little Naleigh is the daughter of country singer Josh Kelly & actress Katherine Heigl, whom they adopted from Korea in 2009. Josh wrote this song especially for her. What a precious little girl they have!

Photos of my childhood...

Feeling nostalgic on a Friday night.....looking at old photos of my childhood. It was 1976 and from the looks of this photo, it was evident we didn’t have much. At four years old, I can still remember where we lived. It was this tiny little house....wait...it was a tiny little room actually -behind a real house that belonged to some friends of my parents. They let us stay there for about a year, for probably around $40 or $50 per month. I can still recall that there was one of those old-fashioned merry-go-rounds right outside our door. I remember our first pet hamster, the one we buried near a rose bush -after it died of course. Then there was “Chiquita” our little black terrier that I loved so much. But I’m not sure why we couldn’t keep her....except I do remember she had to move next door for some reason, to the neighbors with the chain link fence. Thank God for that chain link fence, because I remember I was still able to call her by name & she would come to the fence to lick my fingers. Those were the days where nothing caused me to worry. I didn’t know the difference between a “real” house and a tiny room, or whether we had a kitchen table, or what money was for that matter. I just knew about what I felt, and I remember I felt happy. I had a set of parents who made me feel loved, and protected. Nothing else mattered. 

Here I am pictured celebrating my fourth birthday it seems. Love the orange color of that chair! The other photo is of me & my older brother on a pony that belonged to another neighbor. 

So.....as we get closer to receiving news from China, I am just thinking about what kind of mother I will become. I know that as a mother, I will most likely have a whole new set of worries. I will probably worry about not being able to soothe her as she cries for the hands that once comforted her back at her orphanage. I am sure that it’s only natural for me to feel sad that I am most likely missing out on her first months of life ( considering how close we are to receiving a referral in the next couple of months, it is very likely she has already been born ). And I think about who’s caring for her now. Do they love her? And are they allowing her to get attached?  What kinds of flavors are becoming her favorites? What’s becoming her routine? Will I be able to to be ok if she rejects me or her daddy at first because she will not recognize us? 

But after allowing my brain to have these feelings of uncertainty and worry......I can’t help but to return to these old photos, where ironically I receive some kind of comfort. When I look back to these photos I am reminded that children are simple-minded. They don’t really ask for much, except to be loved, and to feel safe and protected by their parents. And that is all I will allow my brain to worry about for now. 

Hopefully.....our last Christmas of Waiting for Madi.

Sharing this song by Third Day which has beautiful lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muQhSwVBkAo

Reflections of Today...our God-Daughter's Birthday.

Today is November 8, 2011, and exactly 13 years ago, a very special baby girl was born whom would forever change our world. She was our very first niece from my side, born during our first year of marriage. I can still remember the day when she first entered this world. My husband and I were just outside a curtain from her hospital room waiting for her to let out her first cry....it was around 3 in the morning. She was bright red, had a ton of black hair, and scrunchy little eyes. She was beautiful...and we were clearly smitten with her, no doubt.

During her first year of life, our niece, along with her parents, lived with my folks only a few miles away, which abled us to visit quite often. At about 6 months, we were thrilled to be chosen as her God-parents, and I’d say that ever since then, we took on the role very seriously, vowing to always care for her, love her unconditionally, protect her from harm’s way, guide her through life, and show her direction towards a spiritual life.

By the time she was to turn 2 years old, her family moved up to Northern California for a few months, and while they worked on relocating back to the area, our God-daughter came to live with us during the summer. We have so many incredible memories from that summer, and the bond that we developed during that period will forever remain priceless. We really got to love everything about raising a toddler, including changing diapers, although that summer we did help her potty train. We also helped to wing her off the bottle she had been so used to sleeping with, the one she would request with “leche con quik” (milk with Quik Chocolate ), which had unfortunately already started to ruin her teeth. I remember that one night as she woke up with a cute little whimper asking for her bottle. It only took a small conversation with her in Spanish to let her know that drinking chocolate milk at night was not good for her teeth. Unbelievably as it seems ( as she was only 2 1/2 years old ), she seemed to understand the concept. Our conversation went something like this ( but in Spanish ):

“drinking milk with chocolate at night will make your teeth yucky, drinking water instead is better” .

then we continued to go down the list of family who drank water but not chocolate milk at night, until it was her turn to recite it, so her conversation went something like this ( but in Spanish ):

“Nino doesn’t drink milk but water yes?”,

“Nina doesn’t drink milk but water yes?”

“Samson ( our dog ) doesn’t drink milk but water yes?”.

then as she took a deep sigh, she finally said:

“Nino.....can I have some water”?

Ahhh! What a tender little moment. She continued to learn many new things with us, in particular -many new “English” words. She also mastered her “Sign of the Cross” as she held her little hands together while she prayed to “Diosito” and asked for many blessings for her entire family and extended family including our dog “Samson”. And I could still remember her sweet little voice as she would often say to us “I wuv you”. She always knew what to call us. We were her “Ninos” ( which is short for “Padrinos” the term for God-parents in Spanish.

Eventually, her parents relocated and they lived with us for about 6 more months while they found a house nearby to purchase. During the next several years, we were very blessed to play a large role in not only our God-daughter’s life but in her little brother’s who was 4 1/2 years younger. Living just a few blocks away from each other, the kids spent many many days, nights, weekends, and many summers with us throughout the years. We did countless school projects together, swimming classes in the summer, small weekend trips, and just about every little thing you can think of. We really, really enjoyed every moment.....and it was evident that our God-daughter & her little brother filled a void in our lives for many many years. We got to experience parenting to the fullest, but now that they have recently moved to the Mid-west, we will truly miss being a part of their daily lives as they grow into their teen-age years.

So for today, I will have to settle for sending special presents via mail, posting on her FaceBook wall, and sending a “virtual” but deeply heartfelt Happy Birthday wish to our beloved God-Daughter Ivi. May you always know how very special you are to us, how you have inspired us to pursue adoption, and how you continue to help us to be better people.

Love,

Nino & Nina.

This photo was taken around the time she was 5 years old.

Here's one of our more recent pictures together, which was taken right before she moved to Nebraska, during the summer 2011.

CCAA is now Processing July '06 files!

Yes, I know...... it's been years of waiting to adopt from China ( around 5 years in fact ). And the picture above, my friends & family, is the exact place where our file has been sitting for the past 5 years waiting to be reviewed by a few Chinese officials who will decide who our future daughter will be. When we think about this more deeply, we realize how bizarre this must look to some of our friends and family. To think that our destiny is actually being left to complete strangers half a world away who know nothing about us except what has been written about us by other strangers. Our file, otherwise known as our "Dossier", contains a paper trail of medical records, finances, personal reference letters, passports, personal photos of not only ourselves but of our home, our bedrooms, our yard. But most importantly, our Dossier contains several pages of our "HomeStudy", a sort of biographical type of report done by a certified agency which includes very personal information about our upbringing, our personality, our likes and dislikes, our extended family dynamic, our careers, our interests, our current and future goals and aspirations, and other insights like what we plan on naming our daughter, or how we plan on raising her, not just in terms of parenting styles but religious-wise. All of our documents in our Dossier by the way, have also been translated into Mandarin Chinese, so I wonder....by the time each piece of information is translated, how accurate our information ends up being. Oh no.....what did we get ourselves into? Just kidding! There is no turning back for us. We are both fully vested in what has been a roller-coaster journey to meet our little "Madi". Ultimately, we trust that God will send us the perfect little girl who is meant to join us. And one day when she is older, we will share with her our story of how we waited and waited....and waited and waited....and then waited some more until we finally got to meet her.

Until then........here is a photo of an office inside the CCAA ( Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs ). Can you believe those files you see are "Dossiers" from all over the world waiting to be reviewed and matched with babies? I wonder where ours is. It's probably covered with dust by now....but I sure wish they can get to ours soon. By the way....the CCAA is currently processing July 2006 files, and many people are now speculating that based on their average activity, they may take about 6-8 months to finish July & August, and finally get to September where our file is. Which means that it may be possible to actually receive our referral by early 2012. This may still seem far away to some people, but to us this seems unbelievably close! After 5 years of waiting, what's another 6-8 more months? So for now, it looks like we are getting back on this roller coaster ride of excitement once again. Thank You for tuning in & I hope to update this blog more often as we get closer to receiving our referral.

4 years.................

Today is September 11, 2010. And while we (and the rest of the world) are reminded about that terrible tragedy that occurred in NYC 9 years ago, we are also reminded of how long we have waited to hear news from China. Since our dossier was logged in back in 09/11/06 we have waited.....and waited.....and waited. We have no words......just Hope.

The last time our Adoption agency called us, they informed us that China had actually processed 2 weeks worth of referrals in the last month. What this means is that for some reason or another, China processed a heck of a lot more files then it has been the last couple of years ( the average has been about 2 days worth or so per month ). In any case, it seems they are in May of 2006 and the only thing we hope for is that they continue their speed and process the rest of the files as quickly as possible so they can finally get to us. I wish I had a timeframe I can give to family & friends who continue to ask, but the truth is I just can't predict the future. This long wait has taught us to let go of any expectations, and to have trust in what God has planned for our future. It's not easy to do by any means. But during our times of frustration and uncertainty, we rely on our closest friends and family for support.....and this alone is worth this experience.

In the meantime, her room still awaits her. It may not always be as tidy as it is in this picture ( as I often use it for crafting & don't always pick up my stuff ), but it's still there along with little stuffed animals, cozy blankets, books, and clothes.

A sad farewell, to another furry companion.

Ever since we adopted "Bo" almost 2 years ago, he had a tendency to want to run away any chance he would get. In fact, on the very first day we got him, he bolted across the street. At first we thought it was because he missed his original family, but soon we learned that this particular breed tends to experience severe anxiety, always needing to be around people. For that reason we decided he would mostly be an inside dog, allowing him to hang out by our side as we worked from home. In the beginning we had to take "Bo" almost everywhere, to the outdoor mall, to friends house, on trips, etc. But as "Bo" started to look like he was learning to chill out a little, we started letting him hang out in the back yard with our other dog "Dalila". Until he started jumping over our 6 foot fence. When this happened we always had to go out to look for him, for the fear of him going into a busy street. Sometimes we would find him in a few minutes, sometimes it was hours, but we always found him. One time, we had crated him inside a metal crate ( for what we thought would be a few hours ) as we went 3 blocks to our Niece's party. It wasn't maybe half hour before "Bo" managed to chew open the metal crate, squeeze his bulging little belly out, jump our 6 foot fence, and sniff his way to where we were. So after we realized that the create was not going to be an option any longer, we started tying him up in the backyard next to his little house whenever we had to leave for a few hours, then let him come inside to sleep once we got back in. But in the last few months, we were starting to let "Bo" hang out in the back yard for a few hours so he could play with our other dog & many times he would manage to stay back there until it was time for him to come inside to sleep. But every so often, something would trigger him to go into panic mode and make him want to jump our fence again to run away. Usually it was either the sound of a nearby mower or blower, but lately it was a fire-cracker, and this week alone, "Bo" had managed to bolt about 4 times because of this very same reason. We had finally added about 2 feet of plywood on one side of our fence door, and were planning the same for the other side door. But unfortunately........it is too late.

"Bo" had escaped last night around 8pm. He was out there maybe 15 minutes before he bolted over our fence. My hubby searched for him for about three hours on the scooter. Then around 2 am when we were about to go to bed we both decided to go for another drive around our neighborhood. "Bo" loved going to Ivi's (our niece) house which was a few blocks away. Several times she would call us to say he was there. But this time, we're not sure if he even stopped there. We have no idea where he spent the night, or when he headed out to the busy street. This morning before we left to a friends funeral, the hubby went out for another drive to see if he had any luck, but there were no traces of him. By the time we returned around 4pm, there was already a message on our phone, as well as a green notice from the local animal shelter. All we had left to remember "Bo" was his brown leather leash, and his silver chain with his "bone shaped" id.

It was a sad day indeed. We loved "Bo", and we will miss him greatly. Here's just a few things that "Bo" loved to do, which we'll always remember.

He loved going to "grandmas house", where there was a much larger yard for him to run around and play football with the kids.

He loved going to the dog park to play with his furry friends.

He loved, loved, loved, his stinky bed ( which we recently just absolutely needed to replace ).

He loved to eat. What dog doesn't?

He loved going on trips. ( he went with us numerous times to Arizona, & twice to Mexico).

He loved kids...........& kids loved "Bo".

We'll miss you!