Still Waiting for China to finish with August 2006 Files.....

Well....it's already March of 2012 & a few months ago we were certain that we would have our Referral by now. But the reality is that China is still processing August 2006 files & this past February they only reached up to August 21, 2006, which was only a few days more they processed than the month before. I know all of this sounds confusing for friends & family, but what else can I say? All we know is that we have been "So Close" for several months now yet it still it is unknown when. It can literally be any month now, especially if they decide to process a few weeks of files at a time, which they did last year. So it's been very frustrating to say the least.

In the meantime, it's time again to update lots of paperwork for our HomeStudy agency. Here's a list of what we have to update:


References Form
Guardian, Caregiver & reference form
Request for LIVE SCAN Service form
Employment Verification forms
Update HomeStudy Information Forms
Physical Examination Forms
Adoption questionnaire ( personality traits, family life, marital relationship etc. )
Fingerprinting
2011 Taxes
Auto/Medical Insurance stuff
Vehicle registrations

Then after we turn this in to our HomeStudy agency, they will send out a social worker to inspect our home etc. Then once they update our HomeStudy report, they will send it off to USCIS & we will need to wait for an approval from them, which grants us permission to bring an "orphan" into the US. And the reason we have to update all of this paperwork is because our old paperwork will be expiring in the summer, & we want to make sure we get a new approval before we travel. We would of bypassed all of this, had we received our referral early this year.

AND......as if this wasn't enough, we just received word that because we are going on 6 years of waiting to bring our child into the United States, our country will no longer allow us to request for an extension under a form called the I-600A form, even if we paid for it. We now have to fill out a new form called the -I800A form, which I've been told is a much lengthier form than the one we were used to.

AND.....if this isn't enough, there is one final thing about having to do this form that will most likely cause even more heartbreak for us & this has to do with our new travel time once we get our referral & get to meet our daughter through photos & medical records. Instead of traveling within 6 weeks of receiving her referral, we will now have to wait about 3 months! Talk about torture! I can not begin to imagine what it will feel like to finally see a little face, and know details about our daughter & have to wait for her to grow another 3 months in an orphanage. It will be heartbreaking....we are sure.

However, we don't have any other choice but to mentally prepare for it. We have endured this long, with all of the ups & downs, and there is no way we are giving up now. Even though I confess that there have been many times where we have thrown ourselves a pitty party & believe we are the only ones going through this. But the reality is there are lots and lots of families waiting along with us, & those who's files are from 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, & I can't imagine being in their place knowing how long this process is taking. As I've mentioned before, when we signed up back in 2006, the wait was only 6 months, 1 year max. I have heard rumors that China is purposely beginning to slow down their "healthy infant" program to push their "special needs" children, which are basically children over 2 years of age and children with minor health issues that can easily be corrected.

For now, we'll wait to hear how far China reached this month ( they send out referrals every month ). We're hoping they will finish with August finally!

We're also maintaing ourselves very busy with our graphic design business, my little side venture MKLittle ( which entails lots of sewing ), and with our wonderful Marriage Enrichment Ministry, which has been an unbelievable blessing to us. As a result of getting involved with this particular ministry ( right about the time we completed our adoption paperwork ), we have gained some beautiful new friendships! They have all become such a big part of our lives. We know for a fact that our lives would not be the same without them. They have provided us with the support we have needed to endure this very looooong wait.

Thanks for checking in!

Photos of my childhood...

Feeling nostalgic on a Friday night.....looking at old photos of my childhood. It was 1976 and from the looks of this photo, it was evident we didn’t have much. At four years old, I can still remember where we lived. It was this tiny little house....wait...it was a tiny little room actually -behind a real house that belonged to some friends of my parents. They let us stay there for about a year, for probably around $40 or $50 per month. I can still recall that there was one of those old-fashioned merry-go-rounds right outside our door. I remember our first pet hamster, the one we buried near a rose bush -after it died of course. Then there was “Chiquita” our little black terrier that I loved so much. But I’m not sure why we couldn’t keep her....except I do remember she had to move next door for some reason, to the neighbors with the chain link fence. Thank God for that chain link fence, because I remember I was still able to call her by name & she would come to the fence to lick my fingers. Those were the days where nothing caused me to worry. I didn’t know the difference between a “real” house and a tiny room, or whether we had a kitchen table, or what money was for that matter. I just knew about what I felt, and I remember I felt happy. I had a set of parents who made me feel loved, and protected. Nothing else mattered. 

Here I am pictured celebrating my fourth birthday it seems. Love the orange color of that chair! The other photo is of me & my older brother on a pony that belonged to another neighbor. 

So.....as we get closer to receiving news from China, I am just thinking about what kind of mother I will become. I know that as a mother, I will most likely have a whole new set of worries. I will probably worry about not being able to soothe her as she cries for the hands that once comforted her back at her orphanage. I am sure that it’s only natural for me to feel sad that I am most likely missing out on her first months of life ( considering how close we are to receiving a referral in the next couple of months, it is very likely she has already been born ). And I think about who’s caring for her now. Do they love her? And are they allowing her to get attached?  What kinds of flavors are becoming her favorites? What’s becoming her routine? Will I be able to to be ok if she rejects me or her daddy at first because she will not recognize us? 

But after allowing my brain to have these feelings of uncertainty and worry......I can’t help but to return to these old photos, where ironically I receive some kind of comfort. When I look back to these photos I am reminded that children are simple-minded. They don’t really ask for much, except to be loved, and to feel safe and protected by their parents. And that is all I will allow my brain to worry about for now. 

Hopefully.....our last Christmas of Waiting for Madi.

Sharing this song by Third Day which has beautiful lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muQhSwVBkAo

CCAA is now Processing July '06 files!

Yes, I know...... it's been years of waiting to adopt from China ( around 5 years in fact ). And the picture above, my friends & family, is the exact place where our file has been sitting for the past 5 years waiting to be reviewed by a few Chinese officials who will decide who our future daughter will be. When we think about this more deeply, we realize how bizarre this must look to some of our friends and family. To think that our destiny is actually being left to complete strangers half a world away who know nothing about us except what has been written about us by other strangers. Our file, otherwise known as our "Dossier", contains a paper trail of medical records, finances, personal reference letters, passports, personal photos of not only ourselves but of our home, our bedrooms, our yard. But most importantly, our Dossier contains several pages of our "HomeStudy", a sort of biographical type of report done by a certified agency which includes very personal information about our upbringing, our personality, our likes and dislikes, our extended family dynamic, our careers, our interests, our current and future goals and aspirations, and other insights like what we plan on naming our daughter, or how we plan on raising her, not just in terms of parenting styles but religious-wise. All of our documents in our Dossier by the way, have also been translated into Mandarin Chinese, so I wonder....by the time each piece of information is translated, how accurate our information ends up being. Oh no.....what did we get ourselves into? Just kidding! There is no turning back for us. We are both fully vested in what has been a roller-coaster journey to meet our little "Madi". Ultimately, we trust that God will send us the perfect little girl who is meant to join us. And one day when she is older, we will share with her our story of how we waited and waited....and waited and waited....and then waited some more until we finally got to meet her.

Until then........here is a photo of an office inside the CCAA ( Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs ). Can you believe those files you see are "Dossiers" from all over the world waiting to be reviewed and matched with babies? I wonder where ours is. It's probably covered with dust by now....but I sure wish they can get to ours soon. By the way....the CCAA is currently processing July 2006 files, and many people are now speculating that based on their average activity, they may take about 6-8 months to finish July & August, and finally get to September where our file is. Which means that it may be possible to actually receive our referral by early 2012. This may still seem far away to some people, but to us this seems unbelievably close! After 5 years of waiting, what's another 6-8 more months? So for now, it looks like we are getting back on this roller coaster ride of excitement once again. Thank You for tuning in & I hope to update this blog more often as we get closer to receiving our referral.

4 years.................

Today is September 11, 2010. And while we (and the rest of the world) are reminded about that terrible tragedy that occurred in NYC 9 years ago, we are also reminded of how long we have waited to hear news from China. Since our dossier was logged in back in 09/11/06 we have waited.....and waited.....and waited. We have no words......just Hope.

The last time our Adoption agency called us, they informed us that China had actually processed 2 weeks worth of referrals in the last month. What this means is that for some reason or another, China processed a heck of a lot more files then it has been the last couple of years ( the average has been about 2 days worth or so per month ). In any case, it seems they are in May of 2006 and the only thing we hope for is that they continue their speed and process the rest of the files as quickly as possible so they can finally get to us. I wish I had a timeframe I can give to family & friends who continue to ask, but the truth is I just can't predict the future. This long wait has taught us to let go of any expectations, and to have trust in what God has planned for our future. It's not easy to do by any means. But during our times of frustration and uncertainty, we rely on our closest friends and family for support.....and this alone is worth this experience.

In the meantime, her room still awaits her. It may not always be as tidy as it is in this picture ( as I often use it for crafting & don't always pick up my stuff ), but it's still there along with little stuffed animals, cozy blankets, books, and clothes.

1,303 Days...

That is how long we have waited so far to hear news from China. I have hesitated to write a post on this blog regarding our status, simply because I don't have any new news to report. We have literally not progressed in line from where we were last year. Even though it seems we're only about 150 days of Log In Dates away from China getting to our file, the Chinese officials are barely getting through April '06 referrals. It's been very frustrating not knowing why this wait has been so incredibly long. All we have is speculation. A little bit of rumors on blogs, and bits of facts, but nothing concrete. We've been told that the slowdown "could" be attributed to China allowing for domestic adoptions, or that they are allowing the countryside to keep 2 or more children, or that there are simply way more families that are logged in ahead of us waiting for their turn. Whatever the case may be, we just seem to be at a standstill. There is so much uncertainty that for as much as I hate to say it.......we sometimes wonder if we will ever see the day when we will get our referral to the little girl we dream about every night. Her room still awaits her, and our whole family along with our God-kids who often stay over, lovingly refer to her room as "Madi's room". So I should also mention that we are not loosing hope. We are currently updating our Homestudy to re-apply for a new I-71H approval ( which basically means that the US Govt. grants us permission to bring an orphaned child into the U.S. ). The new worry we have now however, is with the US reviewing our financials, as last year was one of our worst years ever. But we are hoping that the US will be considerate of us, not forgetting that our entire country has suffered a great loss during this recession, and still grant us permission while we recoup, especially since it doesn't seem like we will be traveling to China any time this year.

-During our wait, we do want to thank all of our family and friends who continue to ask about our status, and are genuinely concerned while offering their love and support. It really has meant a lot to us to have this support.

24 Months of Waiting...

Today we completed a huge milestone, we've waited for 24 long months. And although there is still no sign of Madi, we feel like we are getting a bit closer. Tonight I'm posting a poem by Tom Fisher ( a dad who wrote it while also waiting for his daughter from China ) -that best describes these feelings of waiting and not being able to do anything other than daydream.

Daydreaming

I stepped into her room today

Knowing she's not there

This waiting for referral

Is more than one can bear

But taking in the moment 

I sit down on the floor

And dream of her here with me

When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air

As I rub her feet

I place my hand upon her heart

To feel its every beat

A song is sung so very soft

Her eyes begin to close

She's meeting me in dream land

A place where love still grows

My vision now is very blurred

The tears stream down my cheeks

I've dreamed of her quite often

Throughout these past few weeks

Suddenly a sound is heard 

The phone rings in the hall

Waking up I quickly pray

Please let it be "The Call".

poem by Tom Fisher