Remembering Gotcha Day....1 year later.

This photo was taken by the orphanage director's wife just minutes before we were handed our daughter
at the Galactic Peace Hotel in Nanchang, China. 

Exactly one year ago today, we met our daughter in China for the very first time. It was Sunday, November 25, 2012. We were told by our local guide Mary, that our daughter would be arriving at 4 pm that afternoon with the orphanage director and possibly her nanny. We were told that it was about a 6-7 hour drive from her orphanage in Ningdu County to our hotel in Nanchang. We were staying at the Galactic Peace, a beautiful 5 star hotel located in an incredibly busy intersection, where hundreds of cars, scooters, busses, and trucks seemed to navigate the streets in what seemed like orchestrated chaos. Looking back, I can't believe we had decided to venture out on our own around 1 pm that afternoon. Our local guide Mary had already taken us to the grocery market the day before so we figured we would be able to walk the 6 blocks or so on our own to pick up a few things before meeting our daughter. But as we walked these crazy busy chaotic streets, it started to drizzle on us, and I suddenly started to panic a little. We were only a few hours away from meeting our daughter, & the idea of getting drenched in the rain or somehow getting lost in the crowded streets or getting hit by a bus or even a scooter freaked me out a little. We both only had 1 semester of Chinese in our vocabulary, hardly enough to feel confident wandering the streets alone. Nanchang was not a city where you would easily find any people that spoke any English ( like in other cities in China ). Even our hotel staff was very limited. And so halfway to the market, we turned ourselves around and headed back to our hotel. Around 2:30 or so, we decided to grab a bite to eat in our hotel dining room. There we met up with Andrea and her mom who were also going to be getting their little girl. We all ordered hamburgers and fries, a familiar taste from home. It was nice catching up with Andrea, a woman I had met through our FaceBook adoption support group. She had also been waiting over 6 years to be matched up, and she was traveling with her mom Joyce, a very sweet and excited grandma to be. As we savored our last bites and shared our excitement of meeting our girls in a matter of hours, "daddy to be" got up to take a peak through the glass window to check out the activity of the entrance to the hotel. I will never forget how we all quickly jumped out of our seats as he screamed "I think I see Madi downstairs!" She was wearing a yellow snowsuit which appeared to be over a few other layers of clothes & was holding the orphanage director's hand. Although she seemed a lot smaller in person than she appeared in the photos we had seen of her, we were certain it was her, with her cute little chubby cheeks. We quickly grabbed our video camera & started filming and then continued to the elevator to rush upstairs to our room. We had already been told that as soon as the babies would arrive, we would be getting a call in our room to let us know when they were heading up....or that was the initial plan. But as we waited anxiously in our rooms, and we no longer could contain ourselves, we received our call from our guide Mary and she asked us if we were ready for them to come up or if we wanted to come downstairs to meet her in the lobby. Without hesitation we both decided to just rush downstairs as we didn't think we could stand the anticipation. As soon as our elevators to the lobby downstairs opened, we were quickly greeted by our guide Mary, and then appears.... the most sweetest little girl with the chubby cheeks, dressed in bundles of clothes under a bright yellow soft snowsuit. She had a little scab on her nose and appeared to be quite frightened. Without any sort of gentle introduction, the orphanage director took her little hand and led her over to us and abruptly said "mama" "baba" "mama" baba". She cried and cried as her new daddy scooped her up into his arms and gently whispered into her ears that everything would be ok. But she continued to cry a deep sorrowful cry. We had just learned minutes after we received our daughter, that she had been living with a foster mother, her husband, and older married son, and not at the orphanage as we had initially been told.  The cries were perhaps for her foster family & the only life she knew. But for as much as we felt her immense fear and confusion, we knew in our hearts that she would one day grow to love us as her forever parents. 

A year later, today, Madeline is a confident, trusting, loving two and a half year old. 
We are looking forward to a very special Thanksgiving Day this week, as we have so much to be thankful for. After dinner with close family, we are planning to watch our video footage of our Gotcha Day for the very first time, as well as our photos from our two week stay in China to relieve this miraculous event. 

The Fabulous Two's!

The last time I posted to this blog our Madeline had just turned 2 years old! 

And since I never got around to posting any pics from her Bday party at the Chino Youth Museum, here are a few 

( although it is now 6 months later ). 

Madeline continues to blossom! She is always learning new things, and continues to bring us so much joy! I'm hoping to update this blog a bit more since it's really the only way I have been documenting her life, and time seems to be flying by so fast. But I will try to do it in segments, like documenting our first summer together, her educational development, life with extended family & friends, and Halloween ( which was so much fun for her ). 

Happy Birthday =  Happy Family!

Garden Theme 

Kids sang Happy Birthday in English, Spanish, and Chinese

Grandparents, Sister & hubby, & a long time family friend. 

The First Time We Ever Saw Your Face....

Exactly 1 year ago today, we received our long, long, awaited call! 

But even though we had waited almost 6 years for this call, we were still caught off guard, scared, excited, and relieved. 

At the time, China had only been referring just a few Log In Dates at a time, so given its pattern, we were not expecting our referral call until June. 

Needless to say, when we did receive our call, first thing on a Monday morning, we were overwhelmed with emotion.

And then a few minutes later, we received these 3 precious little photos via email, and our hearts instantly knew that this was our Daughter, the one we had hoped for, prayed for, and loved in our hearts, long before she was even born.

Ning Xing Yao was her given name, and we were told she was residing at an orphanage in Ningdu County, Jiangxi, China, and had just turned 1 year old at the time. Little did we know at the time that it would be yet another 6 more months before we could meet her in person & kiss her sweet face, but for the time being, we held on to these little photos very tightly & counted the days until we could finally be together as a family.

Adoption is a beautiful thing! Not only do we get to enjoy the gift of becoming a family, but we also get to adopt many new beautiful traditions, anniversaries, and celebrations, like today -

May 21

Happy Referral Anniversary to us!
( and to all those families throughout the world with babies from China 
who also received their referral on this date )

3 Months since Gotcha!

Madeline has continued to thrive with us! 

In addition to bringing us our daily joy & laughter, her understanding of both English & Spanish have been outstanding! Abuelita Cari speaks to her mostly in Spanish ( as do I on occasion ) and she has really been responding well to certain requests. She's a very smart little girl who currently prefers books over toys. She also has been mimicking what she sees in photos or on television when it's on, although she's not all that interested in cartoons, she really does prefer for one of us to read her a book or enjoys playing with her little kitchen. This past week she also had a few playdates with her little friends, and she really enjoys that playtime. We will soon be attending a "parent & me class" on Fridays where she will enjoy music, books, and interaction with other children, so I am looking forward to that. 

Speaking of mimicking....click here to see her do her version of sit ups after seeing mama do it. 

On the not so rosy side of things.......Madi was sick with the flu a few weeks ago & it was miserable for her & for all of us. It was not easy watching her suffer with a runny nose, fever, cough, no appetite, and super sensitive especially during the night. She would wake up on occasion just terrified, and crying, wanting only to be held by mama. It was very hard for daddy to try to sooth her, but after a few days of this, she was slowly getting back to her old self and was less clingy, poor little gal. What helped was also giving her a little panda to hold on tight as she would wake up crying, we would tell her, "hold your baby panda and tell him don't cry panda, mama is right here". She really took up on this & it seemed to really calm her a lot quicker. Madi herself is a good little care taker. 

But after about a week and a half of this misery, Madi was soon up and running again, and we are so happy about it! She did end up giving us her sickness ( although not the flu part, just a yucky cold ), but it was all good...better us than her. 

Here's a few more pics of our little sunshine. 

Here she is helping to wash some dishes again ( she loves to help )! & since she was so sick during all the Chinese New Year's festivities, we still decorated around the house for her. 

Warmer weather, books, and Lunar Fest!

It's just now starting to get warmer in California, so Madi has been excited to be wearing dresses with no tights, or coats, or boots, or hats! 

Lately she's been into books, and more books. A nice friend gave us a box full of books, some hardly used, and some brand new! 

She found this tiny little one called Danny the Duck, that she just loves!

And since Chinese New Year is already approaching us, we took Madeline to her first Lunar Festival at a nearby town a few weekends ago. There were lots of performances, food, music, and lots of activities for kiddos. She seemed to really enjoy the music and the free noodle samples!

2 months since Gotcha!

Today we celebrate 2 months since Madeline came into our lives.  We met her on November 25, 2012 in a hotel lobby in Nanchang, China. She was a very scared, confused, sad little girl. And who can blame her? She didn't know us, and she was leaving behind the only life she knew. But after 2 months of sharing our lives together, it really feels as if she has been with us her entire life. We have all been sharing lots of beautiful and sometimes very funny moments together. She is no longer showing nearly as much anxiety when she meets strangers. Since we've been home, she has had at least one new visitor almost everyday, getting to know each one of them slowly. 

Thank you to all who have stopped by to visit. 

She has also slowly learned to trust & love our dog Dalila just as much as we do. 

Here she is feeding her "Lila". 

Here's a few other things we are celebrating during our 2 months together:

She has learned a lot of new words, mostly 1 syllable, but sometimes even 2 or 3 like "butterfly" or "tortilla", or "apple pie".

She hasn't been too crazy about Mami's bland food, so I've been adding more spices which she seems to like better. & she also still loves using her chopsticks!

She can understand us when we tell her to go do stuff like "go get your red squeeky shoes from your drawer", or "go get your coat so we can go outside", or even greater:  "go to daddy's office & bring me the paper from the printer"....she will actually walk through the hallway, go to daddy's office, tap on his knee to get the paper & return it to Mami. 

She loves to help do chores around the house, whether it's helping Mami do dishes, or rake leaves outside, help feed the dog, sweep, or wipe the furniture. ( We are sure that the foster family she was living with in China engaged her with little things like this ).

She also Loves to peel onions! Yes, onions! She will go straight to our pantry, grab an onion & entertain herself for minutes peeling it, while we watch her intently and giggle at her cuteness. Lately when we go grocery shopping, we will just give her an onion and a little plastic bag & she's as content as can be. Until she's done, then she'll want to help put items in the cart, swipe our card through the paying machine, and want to help bag the groceries and help carry them too, thank you very much!

She loves all of her purses & shoes! She's gotten several passed down from either myself, her auntie, or grandma. She'll carry her favorite items in there like her bracelets, her glasses, a little phone, a plastic onion ( after Mami swapped it from the real one ), and sometimes a jar a Vicks. The girl loves to smell Vicks! Who knew?

We are Thankful Every Single Day for Madeline coming into our lives! 

She is Exactly the little girl we had dreamed and prayed about during our 6 year wait for her referral. 

Leaving you with a few images of our sweetie.

Here's another one of her enjoying her absolute FAVORITE book! A Mother for Choco! She will bring this book to us every single day for one of us to read it to her. 

And if you want to see the youtube vid, go here. 

Our little happy girl loves taking her baby out for walks, rain or shine!

She loves her sunglasses too!

And if you are into sewing, or crafting, you can always visit my other blog MKLittle where I'm sure I'll be posting a few more pics of our little doll since I really enjoy making things for her.

Christmas Joy!

We spent our first Christmas morning as a family at home celebrating with a simple breakfast and watching Christmas Music performances on the television. Madeline was just as happy as can be, lounging with her daddy on his favorite chair, then dancing and babbling away. I just love to watch her develop trust and love towards her daddy.....what a difference a month has made. 

She has brought us so much Joy! 

Later in the day we drove over to Beppe and Pake's house ( grandparents in Dutch ). She was fully asleep when we arrived, so we just left her in her carseat & brought her inside. She must have slept for about 2.5 hours, which meant all the adults ate & cleaned up & then once she woke up she was a happy girl, ready to eat & open up her first Christmas presents from the grand folks. She received lots of new clothes, and her very first play kitchen. Then she kept us all entertained with her little plush elephant she received from our friends on Christmas Eve, which wiggles its ears & plays a song. She absolutely Loves this little elephant. We will post a video of it to our youtube account ( under the name of marsigirl ). 

Here's a few other photos of her today. We had breakfast at one of our favorite little Mexican restaurants in the next town nearby. We had our usual Chile Verde Omelette with fresh tortillas & Madeline had some pancakes with strawberry jelly....her very favorite. It was so cute watching her eat as she wiggled her head from side to side to the beat of the Christmas Songs playing in Spanish. 

Then we stopped at her Abuelita's  ( grandmas ) house that's nearby to visit the neighborhood kids, where she played some ball with some of them. She loves chasing after kitties. When we came home we let Dalila our dog out in the front yard, which Madeline is also starting to get to know. She loves to call out for her "Lila", but she has to have her daddy help her to pet Lila and keep her secure. 

It's been 1 month that we've had her. 

And it's amazing how much she's bonded with us. 

Our lives are richer and our our hearts just full of Love for her, that is for sure!

Merry Christmas from our Family to Yours!

What a Special Christmas this will be indeed! We are so grateful for our new family. After so many years of sending our Christmas Cards with just our photo as a couple, we were thrilled to finally be able to send one out as a family! This year we mailed out 180 cards & we did our best to include family & friends who have been so supportive of our journey throughout the years. Many thanks to our dear friend Ryan Beck, for the captures! We did a few other shots with Madeline wearing her beautiful traditional Chinese dress & a few other outfits, but we'll have to share those later as soon as they are processed. We spent Christmas Eve with our friends from our Marriage Enrichment community who hosted their beautiful annual Christmas Eve Mass in their home, followed by singing carols & lots of food! Madeline had a blast! She is such a Joy! As long as Mami & Daddy are nearby, she is a confident and very happy little girl! Thank You Lord for this blessing!

Merry Christmas to all!

Almost a week home!

It's been almost a week that we have been home now & Madeline is starting to slowly get acquainted with her new surroundings. Poor little kitten, she's already been living in two hotels & now her new home, so we are sure she's been a bit confused. 

This photo was taken while in China.
We Love our daughter so much!

On the second day home we took her outside for the first time & she actually reached out for daddy's arms, which was wonderful to see. 

So far, she's learned how to say "Daddy", "doggie", "Lila". She's also learned to raise her chin when we say "chin up" to wipe her. & she responds to "give mami kiss, or give daddy kiss". & she's also learned to say "Aiyayai" which I had been saying just the other night when she was screaming & crying away after either I wasn't picking her up fast enough or she was cranky trying to sleep. She's still on China time, poor little gal. 

The first couple of nights home she was still having night terrors after waking up in her pack n play in our bedroom, but last night she did amazing. She let me read her a book, and got cozy in our bed with her jammies & even let me turn off the lights while she snuggled on her pillow & went to sleep. It was so sweet & amazing to experience. I didn't bother taking her to her pack & play mostly because she's been crying so much the last couple of days & we've all been so exhausted getting over colds, sore throats & coughs that we just wanted to get some good rest. Right now, our main concern is helping her build more trust with us and help her learn that we are permanent & will not leave her. 

Here's daddy holding his little girl. Check out those matching eyebrows & hairline! She's his little girl all right!

This photo was also taken in Guangzhou, during one of our last days there. She loves wearing glasses!

Here she is again at home. She grabbed the kitty's little glasses & put them on herself to be like her Mami.
She is so funny! 

This pic was in Guangzhou too, while strolling around in the streets. It was sprinkling, but she seemed to like it, so we picked out this umbrella from one of the little shops on the island we were staying at. 

Her first ride on the car seat was not as peaceful as this photo looks. She screamed and screamed on our way to Rite Aid, stopped when we reached the store, screamed again as we drove through the McDonalds drive through for Fries & some Sundays. & right before we got home she stopped crying, reached out for some fries, then went to sleep...and we survived!  But wow, can this girl scream!

Visas have arrived!

Our Chinese Visas just arrived today! We went through Metropolitan Express in Chicago & they took about a week and a half to process with no issues. The cost was $140 per person plus $30 each to process. 

Guess this means we are all set to go.......just counting down the days until we can board the plane! In the meantime, it's time to get packing. But actually, we have been packed for a few weeks now with the exception of those last minute items. We're both taking a rolling duffle & a carryon each, just need to weigh the rolling duffle to make sure it doesn't exceed the 44-55 pounds allowed. As for Madi's things....we really hope she'll fit into the 18-24 mth clothes we're taking her, although we are packing mostly play clothes, tunics, leggings etc., in addition to a few shoes & small toys. And as far as the diapers go...we hope we won't regret not taking a bunch of them as we've been told by other been there done that travelers to only take a few as we can always get more in China & don't need to use up our suitcase space. 

Only 13 days till take off.....seems unbelievable!

Tickets have arrived!

It beginning to look a lot like travel...

We got our ticket receipts in the mail this week. The best part was seeing our daughter's Chinese name on the stub. She will be America's newest citizen when she lands on US soil. Only 15 more days until we leave for China!

TA at last!

Last night we received news that we were officially issued our Notice of Travel document, also known as our Travel Approval or TA. It took about 19 days to get after our Article 5 was picked up in October. Now all we need is a confirmation of our Consulate appointment in Guangzhou, which we should have by tomorrow....which means we will have definite travel dates, FINALLY!
Then we can book our flights, arrange our hotels, & get an intenienery for our two week stay in China. But most importantly, we'll finally have an actual date of when we will get our little Madeline! In the adoption community, they refer to this day as "Gotcha Day". This is so surreal especially after so many years of waiting, to actually get a date soon of this very special day. Our consulate appointment will determine how soon we can leave. It is possible we can still leave as early as next week, but I highly doubt it just from the info I've been hearing in our Sept.'06 LID group online. Apparently they are booking late November & December appointments, which means we could leave on the 15th or the 22nd ( really hoping its not later than that ). Typically the way it works for adoptive families is they leave on a Thursday & have a few days to rest or sightsee, then fly to the child's province on Sunday  where the official adoption will take place, and get the children on Sunday or Monday. For us it will most likely be on a Monday ( so we have been told ).   

-That's all for this post....hoping to be able to post news about our travel dates by tomorrow ( which is Halloween btw ). -We are so excited to finally be at this phase!

Our Pre Travel to China Celebration!

Our Dear Friends from our Marriage Enrichment hosted a huge celebration for us this past Saturday August 25, 2012 and it was Beautiful! 

We are working on a photo slide show to post soon. In the meantime, you can watch the video we presented during the party.  Just scroll down....

Music is by Christina Perri, & we hope we can share it before it gets muted by youtube....

Thinking and wondering...

I stumbled upon this captivating photo by Karen Su/ Getty Images while reading an interesting article on the decline of male to female ratios during the Chinese Great Leap Forward famine. 

A close friend of ours who just the other day got to see a photo of Madeline for the first time, asked me if we would be getting any information on Madi's biological family. She apparently didn't quite understand the Chinese International adoption process.

No, I told her....unfortunately not a single thing, as child abandonment and relinquishment are both illegal in China. All children who end up in Chinese orphanages are mostly all abandoned, not necessarily true orphans. 

So tonight I find myself thinking about Madeline's biological family. I'm wondering who her birth parents are, where they live, what they do for a living....whether little Madi was their first child, or second. I'll never know, I'll just know that they had her for two months....most likely concealing her until they no longer could keep her ( hoping that it was because they loved her too much to want to let her go ). As far as we know, there are fines in China for those having more than one child, if they can afford to pay for it, they will keep the child, but if not, then parents are literally forced into desperate measures. For our daughter, that meant leaving her outside the gates of an orphanage. 

Thank God she survived, was found, and is now waiting for us to come get her, unbeknownst  to her. 

We may never know exactly what town or village she originally came from. But from what we've learned, the town of Ningdu is a very small town even by Chinese standards. There is both a town of Ningdu with about 100,000 people, and there is the County of Ningdu which has about 700,000 people, and apparently there are lots of small poor villages throughout the county. 

We're hoping that when it's time for us to travel, we will be able to visit her orphanage ( although we've been told it might be unlikely ) or at the very least we would like to be able to visit some of the surrounding villages outside Nanchang ( Capital of Jiangxi, which is the place that our daughter will be handed over to us ). Nanchang is about a 5-6 hour drive to Ningdu County, where our daughter's orphanage is. 

It's important for us to visit these surrounding areas primarily because we would want to capture as much as we can, for our daughter. One day when she is older, she may want to know more about her culture, about the people from the villages, about where she originally may have come from.  

Adoption Process Update:

We received our I800A approval this past Friday!

Next up is mailing off our I800 form first thing Monday, & then wait about 2 weeks for our Provisional Travel Approval.

We're moving along.....hoping that in a couple a weeks we can at least have a better idea of when we're traveling! 

1 year + 3 months...

Our daughter is 1 year old plus 3 months today. 

I've yet to meet her in person.....but I miss her....and I Love her so much already.

And I may only be a Mom to her in my heart from a distance for now, but I never miss an opportunity to share with others just how much I love having this title. Even if it means wearing a locket with her cute little chubby face. 

Her Baba got this for me soon after our referral from one of my favorite collectibles store Brighton. 

Adoption Process Status: 

Still waiting on USCIS approval on our I800A form.......was told that maybe we'll receive it this week. 

Then we will need to file our I800, I864w, and DS230 forms with USCIS. 

Then we can apply for our Chinese Visas and get closer to travel. We were hoping it would be in early September, but we are still not sure how long the other applications will take to process by USCIS. Although it is still a possibility it can happen in late September......we'll see. 

Adoption Grant....Denied.

We received very disappointing news a few weeks ago. Our application for a Grant consideration through Gift of Adoption was denied. 

After being "Tentavely Approved for Review" for about 3-4 years now, our application went before a committee earlier this month & it was decided that we were not approved for a Grant. According to their reports, they receive between 50-100 completed applications each month and unfortunately only have enough funds for up to 8 grants per month. We certainly don't feel entitled to any free funds, but we are still disappointed that we weren't approved for even their slightest grant.

A few years ago I had decided to apply through this organization after realizing that the Recession was killing our small business. Design projects had diminished by almost 50% and our accounts receivables were often times at 40-60 days and sometimes even worse. Many of our clients and vendors were now closing their doors, including one of vendors who had been in business for over 50 years!  It was very difficult to witness. We were barely getting by ourselves rapidly going through the little savings we had left and there were many times we feared even loosing our own home. In fact, we did end up trying to short sale a rental property we had purchased many years ago in hopes that one day it would provide us with some sort of additional monthly income. We tried re-financing it through our bank to a lower monthly payment so that at least we would still be able to keep our rental tenants until the economy improved but the bank refused to help and even refused all of the offers we received on that home & so they preferred to foreclose on it. It was such a shame that our bank was not willing to help us re-structure that loan so that our tenants would be able to live in that property.

There were many times during this downward economy that we worried sick over the thought of having to withdrawl from our adoption process. Even though our referral seemed to be nowhere in near sight, there were still Homestudy update fees, USCIS fees, background checks, and a huge increase in the required orphanage donation, which ultimately all added to additional thousands of dollars just to stay in this waiting game. We couldn't bear the thought of not being able to wait in line after so many years, so we did everything we could which included several fundraisers- selling lots and lots of hand painted lucky ladybug rocks ( which my mother-n-law helped to paint ), photographic prints ( donated by our professional photographer friends ), hand-crafted items, and hosting a few jewelry parties at home. We are so grateful to all the family & friends who have contributed in one way or another. We will always be so thankful to them!

We will still most likely continue to worry about the unknown, especially now that we know for sure there is no more grant we thought would help with our final adoption expenses. We are looking at traveling sometime in the fall...possibly mid to late September, still not exactly sure as we're still waiting on a couple of approvals from USCIS.  

So in these next couple of months we will now have to step it up even harder  doing anything we can to save for the rest & just hope & pray we can do it. Our little girl is now waiting for us to come get her & we just can not wait to have her home. 

Just recently, her daddy created the most beautiful map of China which includes a glimpse of her beautiful face, highlighting her province of Jiangxi. He wanted something he could hang in his office that would commemorate her birth land. He did such a beautiful job that we have decided to offer this print for sale to others in our adoption community, customized with their own child's information and photo. 

We hope that they get to love it as much as we do.

Here is the full listing: Custom China Adoption Map on Etsy 

One of our many "RED THREADS"

Ningdu County SWI, photo by Lisa Martin

There is a Chinese belief that says:
 "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break."


I will be sharing one of many "Red Threads" we have encountered during our journey to adopt in upcoming blog posts, but first let me begin with one that has to do with today's date. 


July 3 will become another day with great significance for us as it is most likely the last day our little girl was last kissed goodbye by her biological mother and would soon be abandoned on the outside entrance to an orphanage. According to her report, our baby girl was 2 months old when she was found outside the gates, then taken to the police station where a report was made, and then brought back to the Children's Welfare Institution of Ningdu County, Jiangxi- China where she now continues to reside.

I can not begin to write just how much this breaks my heart. Not only for our daughter but for the mother that kept her not just for a few days or a few weeks, but for 2 whole months. From what I have read from other families who have adopted babies from China, many of them are abandoned closely after birth, within a few days. Ours was already 2 months old....how difficult this must have been. I realize that we may never really know what the exact circumstances were surrounding her case, but her Baba & I would like to believe she was Loved so much, and concealed as much as possible, until she could no longer be kept. We'll never know exactly who left her outside the gates, but we tend to think it may have been a relative as it would of been far too risky for her own mother to do this.

Throughout our wait we have been asked many times why there is so much abandonment in China especially baby girls. Many people tend to think that girls are just not valued in China. But this issue is way more complex to try to explain in just a few words or sentences. To be able to truly understand why, one must understand the history of China , a country so old and deeply rooted in history and culture. A country where one third of the worlds population lives which equals to A LOT of people. There are many great books written on this abandonment phenomenon, some of which we will share with our daughter one day when she's old enough to read them and understand them. But as Kay Ann Johnson writes in her book "Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son", Many Chinese parents feel the need for a son to carry on the family name and to care for them in their old age. At the same time, the government's strict population policy puts great pressure on parents to limit births.  As a result, some parents are able to obtain a son only by resorting to illegal behavior, such as "over quota" births and female infant abandonment.


So what exactly was I doing on July 3, 2011 you might wonder? Well...considering China is about 16 hours ahead of us, that date would put us at Saturday, July 2, 2011. It has been such a treasure for me to have decided to keep a daily journal for the past 6 years where I have been documenting daily events with photos so that one day we can share with our little girl. There has been so much that has occurred during our very long wait but I have been particularly interested in learning what were were doing during the year she was born. There were many times during this last year that we questioned why certain events were happening. And while we were often comforted by close friends who would tell us "There is always a reason, you may not know it now, but one day you will....you just have to have faith and trust in God". But we admit that we can both be a bit stubborn at times, and always find a reason to question things. 


So as I leafed through the pages of my journal I discovered that on that particular day, I was preparing to leave for my Mother-in-law's house where I would be hosting a baby shower for my Chinese Sister-n-law Oy who was going to have her first baby girl "Skyler". For as much as I was excited to prepare this beautiful event for her family & friends, there was a part of me that felt saddened, specifically because I found myself questioning why my journey to motherhood was taking so long. Many of my friends and extended family members were already experiencing this joy not once but several times. As for me, it had already been 5 years of waiting since we decided to embark on this road to adoption, and here I was preparing yet another baby shower for somebody else. 


Oh, but what a fool I was to question such Greater Plans! 


Little did I know that while I would be preparing this celebration on this side of our world for my sister-n-law, there was a Mother on the other side of the world abandoning her 2 month old baby who would be destined to become our Daughter. 


It's amazing how God works.

Here I am with my Sister-n-law Oy on July 2, 2011.
She gave birth to baby Skyler on August 4, 2011.

Reviewing Madi's Referral

About 3 days after receiving Madi's official referral, we were invited over for dinner by our good friends Lian & Jack who just recently returned from a trip back to their homeland of Taiwan. Although Lian has returned more recently, Jack had not been back for over 30 years! 

"So different now" he would say. They were really happy they got to spend almost a month in Taiwan visiting with their siblings and friends.  

After getting a chance to read over "Xing Yao's"  report and medicals, they both shook their head in agreement and said:

"You are very lucky there!" "You will get a very pretty baby". 

We couldn't agree with them more! We are indeed very lucky to have a beautiful little girl waiting for us in China. We hate the fact that we will still miss out a few more months of watching her grow. Hopefully it will not be more than 2-3 months.

We've never met her, or held her....but we already love her so much already. We wish we can just hop on a plane tonight to go get her! But there's still so much to do. 

This past Sunday night, we just dropped our i800A forms & payment to our Homestudy agency in Oceanside, while returning from a day in San Diego. This Thursday we will meet with our Doctor to formally review her medical report. And very soon after, we will be officially signing off on her referral & mail it to our international adoption agency in Ohio. And then, a few more immigration papers, more fingerprinting, then wait for an approval from USCIS so we can then apply for our Visa's as we wait for our travel dates. 

 Here's Baba Kris showing Jack a map of where Madi's currently residing. She's in a province called Jiangxi, China, which is more Southern China, almost North West of Taiwan. North of Hong Kong. We're still not certain if we will be flying straight into Hong Kong and go directly to Jiangxi. Our agency has recommended we go to Beijing a day or two prior so we can do a bit of sightseeing, as is traditionally done prior to picking up an adopted child. But I'm not sure how much I'm going to enjoy sightseeing knowing we will be just hours away from picking up our daughter. Personally, I think it would be nice to explore her province, so that we can collect as many photos and video, and anything else we can so we can share with her one day as she wants to learn more about her birth land. 

And here's Baba Kris enjoying dinner with Lian & Jack. Funny thing... our meal was Mexican, which is hilarious!  They used to own one of our very favorite Chinese restaurants for many years, but they recently sold it as they were ready to retire. 

Lian says "I don't want anything to do with Chinese food for a while....too much time to cook". So one of her hobbies lately has been trying out some new easy Mexican recipes. 

Too bad you can't taste how delicious these carne asada burritos were, & the salad was just as delicious!